Disclaimer: Given that miscarriage, infertility and all conception issues are prevalent in our world, a “surprise pregnancy” may be a sensitive topic for some. If you struggle in these areas, this blog post may not be helpful for you right now. My goal is to be sensitive to women in all stages of life.
My Personal Surprise Pregnancy
Open communication was my way to externally process and reconcile the unplanned changes that were surely on the way. As my husband and I started to announce the surprise, we got mostly positive responses. However, every time I shared that we were “surprised,” I felt compelled to make an immediate follow-up to justify that I would still love the baby. AS IF THAT WAS A QUESTION!
Unforgettably, I bought some pregnancy announcement supplies and shared to the checkout lady that this one was a “surprise.” Before I could launch into my compulsive justification, she interrupted me with a belittling tone, “Oh but the baby is still loved.”
Justified.
Her response further affirmed the shame of being surprised. Should I be ashamed that I was surprised? Am I alone? Is surprise pregnancy common?
Five Unplanned Pregnancy Stories
Given the above story, I didn’t imagine sharing my surprise with anyone other than close friends. Yet, when a few of my favorite Instagrammers announced pregnancies with due dates near mine, I volunteered the information that I was shocked to be pregnant. Even more unexpected, many of these social media friends were in the same boat!
Check out my post on Instagram about a surprise pregnancy to link to the other five, beautiful stories.
Facts About Surprise Pregnancy
- About half of pregnancies in the United States are unplanned pregnancies, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention.
- You can plan to be in control but birth control does fail. 2018 research noted on the CDC’s website states that condoms fail 13% of the time. Even oral contraceptives/pills have a failure rate of 7%.
- Most likely, the mother is not the only one surprised. Many other people are affected, for instance: the spouse, siblings, employers.
- An unplanned or surprise pregnancy is not an unwanted one.
- Shock is not shame. When someone tells you they (or YOU) were or are shocked to be pregnant, do not undervalue or make light of the emotions. The most helpful thing you can do is validate the process and feelings. Thankfully pregnancy is nine glorious months – God is very smart in making the time for us to mature in our feelings. Shock that lasts that long is trauma, which is a completely different issue.
My Personal Story Continued
In hindsight, I know exactly how it happened. Long story short – we owned an awesome townhome! We loved it. However, it had been a stressful situation since inception. After two water damage insurance claims and long battle with disrespectful neighbors, we put the house on the market.
The week we closed on the sale, the air conditioner broke. Typically, that wouldn’t be our problem any more. However, we had leased the townhome back for two weeks, while the owners of our soon-to-be home dealt with health issues. After multiple days in the South Florida 90 degree and 80% humidity, we had to move to a hotel in order to sleep and make sure our one-year-old could nap.
My menstrual cycle was typically clockwork. With all the stress of our move and AC going out the week of our move (during the hottest time of the South Florida summer 🥵), my body responded to the stress with early ovulation.
Natural planning leaves the door open to God having His way in our lives & I can say now that I’m so happy I’ve allowed areas of my life where God can lead me to trust His timing.
Is unplanned pregnancy uncommon?
