Did you just read that title gasp at the words “perfect” and “schedule” in the same sentence? Maybe you feel hopeless, sleep deprived, or scared. Maybe none of those and you are self-educating before your second child comes. No matter what brought you here, let’s be honest — there is no perfect schedule! The goal of a schedule is to support child development, parents’ ability to make money to support the family’s overall wellness and everyone’s sanity. Life with two young kids is not always easy. Whatever your goals for reading this blog about a two kid schedule, you can do this, mama!
Keep in mind that each child is unique & the dynamics of every family are different. This “two kid schedule” may not work for you for many reasons. I’ll try to walk through why this two kid schedule works for me throughout the post. As always, if you have any questions please comment below.
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Motherly Love Empowers
During my first pregnancy and birth, the community of mothers in my life was phenomenal. As a matter of fact, I’ve never heard of it. Most of my friends had children in their school years. As a result, some were nostalgic of the newborn phase and all were extremely experienced, which I believe increased their interest in my new motherhood and baby questions. I was surrounded with motherly love, which is one of the reasons I felt so strongly to launch this blog and this particular content – to empower other mothers with information from a place of motherly love. So on to the details…
My Life is Not Your Life
Some general things that may be different in your life, versus mine, could change this schedule entirely. My schedule isn’t even a LAW for me – its a guidebook. So if I don’t expect my schedule to look perfect every day, neither should you. Assess the following things when you try to fit into my schedule:
- required travel times due to work schedules, car lines, or childcare hours
- baby weight, growth, or milk consumption may require more or allow for less feedings than this schedule demonstrates
- toddler health or needs may also require a new interpretation of this two kid schedule
- any schedules from childcare that are out of your control, such as nap, or mealtimes.
Currently, my husband and I both work from home (thank you, pandemic.) It’s a blessing and also a major challenge. Starting in mid-August, I will be back to my normal working schedule for the first time since two kids. Our plan is to re-hire a nanny to help with our toddler, who needs more attention and activity throughout the day. This provides us with much more control over our children’s schedule. If you’re a stay-at-home mother or father, this schedule would work for you too.
Without further ado, here is my two kid schedule
Before posting this, I saved this graphic to my phone’s background. Periodically throughout the day, I check to make sure I’m in this range. This schedule legitimately fits into our life, but again its a range, guideline, or goal – NOT A LAW. For over a week, I did periodic checks and was “on time.” So I believe this is actually possible… even for you!
Right now, its 8:10am and Autumn just started yelling, “I want to wake up.” She’s still in a crib, which is helpful. At 7:20am, Hunter finished his first milk and is back in the SNOO, while my husband naps a little longer – its Sunday 🙂 I’ll pause this and go change Autumn’s diaper, bring her oat milk, and give her a box of toys. She’ll play in there for about an hour or so.
For those of you who just read “she will play in there for an hour or so” and laughed at the thought of your toddler playing alone, please read this blog through to the end to understand a little more about “independent play.” With a little bit of determination, consistency, and rewards, your toddler can have quiet time also.
Your pediatrician will ask you about the number of naps in hours and milk feeding sessions. You’ll notice on my schedule that I have each milk and nap numbered – it just helps me to remember how many of each he typically has.
Hunter is now 2 months and cluster-feeding isn’t always a thing now. But for the first two months it was notable to establish his long stretch for sleep in a part of the day that I preferred.
Milestones of the Two Kid Schedule
Ultimately babies and toddler do three things – eat, play and sleep. So both a toddler and a newborn will cycle around those three tasks at different speeds. You may have heard of the “EASY” schedule, which is EAT-ACTIVITY-SLEEP-YOU. This is my preferred approach, as opposed to kids mealtime directly before bed.
Regressions or Growth Spurts?
Newborns have shorter periods of time between growth spurts as well. Thus, it may feel like you never get a “schedule,” but don’t give in to that lie. Kids LOVE schedules, and babies thrive on them. So called “regressions” are actually a result of maturity. The regression, if you have one, should not be the center-stage! I encourage you to focus on the growth and the schedule, rather than the regression – it will pass. If you stick to the schedule, as best you can, it will be even more solid on the other side of the growth spurt.
So whatever you do, stick to it. They will come along with you on the ride.
Overlapping Activities
My schedule has four overlapping spots throughout the day. These are tasks that will stay in their lives for a long time: their morning and evening walks/activity, lunch, and afternoon nap.
Wake Windows
Once I knew about “wakey windows,” I felt like sleep training all fell into place with my firstborn. In all of the love and help I received postpartum, “wake windows” were seldom discussed. So, don’t ignore this! They provide guidance to help keep little attitudes at bay, while supporting brain and physical development.
Currently, my son is 10 weeks. So his wakey window is less than 90 minutes. This can get complicated when you’re on the go and baby gets stimulated after falling asleep for a quick wink. For instance, if you go for a car ride & he falls asleep for 5 minutes. Or baby may wake themselves from a naptime because of a poop – that’s the worst! In a situation like that, I treat it as a whole new cycle, but I shorten the activity time. I would NOT use this rule for a toddler.
My daughter is 32 months old – 2.5 years. To this day, I do not let her stay awake longer than 6 hours. At risk of offending someone right now, I hear lots of people say “my toddler dropped their nap at two!” It makes me sad for the parents and the toddler. Parents need quiet time to recharge and kids need sleep for brain development. Yes, BRAIN DEVELOPMENT. Just do five minutes of research on the topic and you will find that sleep is one of the most crucial components to a child’s brain development.
Wake windows are not one size fits all and shouldn’t all be the same in a one day period. It may seem counterintuitive but wakey windows between last nap and bedtime should be shorter than the first wake window. Thus the first wake window should be the longest of the day. At the first of the day the child has enough energy for a longer wake period after their full night of sleep.
Minor Adjustments
Don’t make drastic changes. Even for my toddler, a ten minute adjustment makes a huge difference. I typically use 15 minute increments. There were a few times when a longer than planned trip to beach pushed nap back 30 minutes, revealing a new perfect nap time. Don’t be scared of change.
Test things out. You may push things in the wrong direction. Just revert. Give yourself some grace and go with your gut! Talk to your spouse or other childcare providers, who are familiar with your child. This graphic may be helpful to assess if your nap time is right.
Activity
A newborn’s activity is super simple – they observe.
Some of the most interesting things to a newborn are faces and high contrast patterns. We have a black and white multi-canvas airplane above our couch that Hunter loves to look at. Most of the time, we transition between the following:
- Tummy time with a mirror card or high contrast cards at his hands
- Leg exercise time with the Kick ‘n’ play
- Multi-skill activity time with the Lovevery Play Gym & Mat; the toddler loves to lay down next to my newborn and show him the toys. It’s so adorable! This gym has colors, mirror cards, high contrast cards, textures, and sounds. The mat itself is padded and doesn’t need to be on a soft surface, which is helpful for my tile-floor home.
- Sitting upright time in an infant play chair; this is great for babies with reflux or spit-up issues
- Family walk in our UPPAbaby bassinet
A toddler’s activity time is a little more diverse.
I’d be happy to write more details, but for now, I’ll share two important aspects of child development that have helped me conclude my schedule with Autumn: Erickson’s Theory of Development and Parten’s Six Stages of Play. This research is the reason why Autumn has two quiet times – she develops her autonomy and independent play.
Feel free to do your own research on the six types of play; I am no expert. Since I had a hard time finding a good illustration, here’s my take at the important information:
Even though it may feel overwhelming, kids are pretty simple at the core of what they are developing. Don’t compare yourself to Sally Homeschool Teacher or even to me. If you think I have it all together, please send me a DM and I will tell you what’s up! 🙂
Uncontrollable Schedule Changes
It takes a few days to get a habit developed but only one cycle to break the habit.
Lastly, things happen! Be kind to yourself when you need to re-train habits for the schedule. Your family and individual dynamics may change for a few days or weeks, due to periodic visits to doctor, family, vacations, etc. We all know, these things can throw us off schedule completely. But don’t lose heart! It’s good to prepare your mind when these things happen – expect the hiccups, but also know that you can get your schedule back. Try to have a game plan for how you will deviate and specific actions to get back on schedule.
Speaking of two kids, don’t forget to watch their first meeting:
Check out our full motherhood section here for more tips and tricks!
One Comment
Alison
Thank you for the ideas! I have more or less the same mix right now. The firstborn is really understanding but it’s still just a toddler needing his own attention, right? I’ve finished sleep training lately and it went great! I was following step-by-step instruction from a guide in a nutshell series – easy and quick. But the next step I’m planning is putting boys in one room and that may be a pickle…